The Corosive Crown

People like to wax lyrical about fate and faith, but I am so sick of the sound of each word I could cry. Oh, they’re both lovely concepts, don’t get me wrong, and I’d very much like to be able to count both concepts as being fixtures in my life… but what gets me down is everybody’s belief that their fate, and their ability to have faith in a higher power, is intrinsically wrapped up in my own ability to not only attain my fate, but to do it by wielding my faith in my mother like a shield. I believe Mother’s there, and I believe she thinks my life has some great purpose that she’s determined to help come to pass… but I just don’t know if that’s a good thing anymore, or if this beautiful castle she’s built for me here, is anything but another gilded cage standing between me and my freedom to make my own goddamned fate. To be happy. To be loved by a real family. To be free. I just wish I could have faith that my fate was to be those three things- even if it meant not being anything else.