Silver Lining Love

Dear Love Vixen,Six months ago, my life changed forever, and I had no idea it was coming.My sister—the strongest and most selfless person I’ve ever met and the kickass mom to three adorable kids—was killed in a car accident.In an instant, I became the mom to those three adorable kids, and lemme tell ya...I am far from strong. Or kickass. In fact, up until that night, I was a party girl who never worried about anything deeper than my plans for the weekend. I’m not equipped for this—especially since I lost the person I would’ve normally leaned on in this situation!To say I’ve been flailing would be an understatement.There has been one bright spot in the messy-house-late-to-school-bedtime-chaos darkness, though.My neighbor.He comes over pretty much every evening, and spends almost the entire weekend at our place. Every weekend. He’s amazing with the kids, which isn’t surprising considering he’s the oldest of nine siblings and helped to raise them.That’s kind of the problem, though. He’s always said he never wanted kids. That his childhood burned him out. That it was a dealbreaker.So, even though the sparks are flying so fast and furious it feels like they could burn the house down (which, to be honest, with the year I’ve had, a burned-down house would pretty much fit), I don’t feel safe trusting those sparks.Or the look in his eyes when he turns to me. Or the soft smile on his face when he watches me with the kids.I would’ve asked my sister about this, so I’m asking you instead. And I’ve gotta warn you, those are big shoes to fill. But I trust you!So, Love Vixen—is there a chance that a newly-reformed party girl, a guy who swore he’d never have children, and the three kids neither of them ever expected to land in their lives can come together and make an unconventional but happy family?(Not to tell you your job or anything, but PLEASE SAY THERE IS A CHANCE!)Heartbroken but HopefulDear Heartbroken,Sweetie, I wish I could give you a hug and tell you what you want to hear. Let’s unpack your question a bit and break it down. What’s your reason for crushing on him?With all you’ve been through it would be easy to confuse dependency and loneliness with love. Does he make your heart race because of his babysitting skills or does the man behind the child whisperer do it for you? That’s something only you can answer. Neighbor guy sounds like a very caring and nurturing friend. A person can’t turn those traits off. I bet if you found the answer to why he doesn’t want a family of his own you might discover the chance you want with him.You’ve done an incredible thing by stepping up and giving those precious children love and stability during a very scary time in their lives. Be just as kind to yourself. Seek your own happiness, even if it’s not waiting for you just outside your door.Good luck, hon!The ♥ Vixen