Arrange Me

My name is Courtney Jane Salinger... and I'm sick of games. Sick of the Friday night bar-scene-cum-meat-market. Sick of the boy-girl, man-woman, mars-venus, flirtation-without-expectation, game-playing nonsense. Sick of awful dates and one-night stands, booty calls and guys who don’t call back, mixed messages or NO messages and—and—and...I'm sick of all of it. I’m done. I just can't do it anymore. It's too hard, and worse: little by little, it's making me hard. It's breaking my heart. What DO I want? That's easy. I want a house in suburbia with a white picket fence. I want babies to buckle into a minivan. But most of all, I want to be married. I want a husband. So I've made an important decision: I'm making my escape from the dating world and the single life. I've filled out my application on ArrangeMe.com and I'm putting my fate into the hands of experts. Is it a little scary? Sure. I mean, I have no idea who I'll end up with. After all, I'm planning to marry a complete stranger. But between you and me? I can't wait. Being arranged can't possibly be worse than being single. Can it?